Spoilers: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Mama Fisi
Mama Fisi's picture

The Husband called me from work and asked if I'd like to go see "Guardians of the Galaxy" tonight.  Honestly, I have to say--no.  I looked up the trailers on YouTube, and if the trailer is supposed to make you want to see a movie, then these two failed spectacularly--at least in my case.

Except for the hyper-realism of Rocket Raccoon--which actually kind of works against itself, as the character's voice does not sound like it's coming out of its body--I did not see a single thing that appealed to me or piqued my interest.  The movie is based on, what else, a Marvel comics series, which seems to be the default vault for adventure films these days.  There was the usual overly-developed heroes, flash-bang special effects, motion capture CGI costuming, a number of adolescent profanities, and Zoe Saldana--honestly, is there no other female who wants to play the leading ladies in sci-fi extravaganzas?--looking like a cross between Neytiri and She-Hulk.  The CGI characters prove conclusively that sets, costumes, make-up, and stunt doubles are all a thing of the past.

The five main characters are all criminals of various sorts, sentenced to incarceration in a space fortress prison, from which they almost immediately attempt an escape.  There are scenes of sadistic violence and cruelty, and an anarchronistic theme song ("Hooked On A Feeling?"  Really?  Played from a SONY WALKMAN?!  What the hell?!)

The violence was pervasive, the humor lame, and if this trailer is made from the best scenes in the movie...I'll pass.  If anyone has actually seen it, and wants to give a review, by all means, be my guest.