THINGS WE'RE DEFINITELY (INEXPLICABLY) INTERESTED IN: "The Three Musketeers" and to a lesser extent, "Terra Nova"

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture

Ok, so here's the deal: Firstly, I'm gonna' be reviewing the "Terra Nova" series starting with the premier on Monday. I'm not expecting too much of it, of course - the premise seems uncommonly stupid - but as the most expensive SF show since "Kings," it should at least be pretty. OTOH, it's Spielberg, who's shown a profound lack of ability where Television is concerned. Odd, given how good he is with Movies. Anyway: That one's mine.

There's a lot more stuff under the jump, including video clips and one of my rants. Well, not quite a rant. Rant-ish, so click through and check it out.

Secondly, soon as it comes out, I'm gonna' be reviewing "The Three Musketeers." I'd heard there was a new Musketeers film coming out, but like most of you, I greeted the news with a resounding yawn. I mean, come on, there's been 42 films and TV shows based on the book, and this one obviously wasn't going to have Michael York *or* Raquel Welch in it, so what's the freakin' point?

Well check this shiznat out!

Granted: the reaction from our crowd has been predictably negative:
But I eshew such cootish attitudes in what is obviously just supposed to be just a fun film with eye-popping visuals like flying boats and Milla Jovovich in a bustier.

(Not to be leering or anything, but check out the scene at :23)

I'm sure it'll be terrible, just like "The League of Extrordinary Gentlemen" or "The Golden Compass," but, eh, it'll be pretty garbage. And there's a SLIM chance it'll be good, like "Treasure Planet."

And the more people that get all pretentious on my ass about "Oh, this is a blasphemy against great literature," the more I want to see it. I mean, come on, it's not like this is going to un-do the book, right? It can't be worse than the Charlie Sheen version, so what's the big, joyless deal? Is one's grip on propriety so tenuous that it can't survive yet another Orlando Bloom-stabbingt-people-with-a-pointy-metal-thing fantasy picture?