REPUBLIBOT WEEKEND MOVIE PREVIEW: Movies Opening 11-06-09
The wind ripped through their hair as they sped down the road, their laughter getting lost in the slip stream behind their little convertible. The stars shown down on them and their eyes twinkled back. Susan smiled over at him and reached over to gently touch the side of his face. Tommy glanced over and his face split in a big smile as he leaned into her hand. She caressed his cheek softly and moved over closer to him and then whispered seductively into his ear, “ I‘m not reviewing anything here, so unless stated otherwise I’ve not seen any of the movies in this ‘Preview’. All I am doing is quite thoughtlessly passing judgment on films that are scheduled to open this week and that I haven’t researched at all (not in the least). All of the film information, including the plot summary, has been pulled from the Opening This Week page of IMDb (http://www.imdb.com/nowplaying/). In this week’s installment of the Republibot Weekend Movie Preview we are taking a look at: The Fourth Kind, A Christmas Carol, and The Men Who Stare At Goats – among others….”
Tommy shivered and kissed her lightly on the brow as they sped down the deserted old road. He smiled into her eyes and said, “Do you want to see something really scary…?”
A Christmas Carol
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Stars: Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth
Studio: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
The Plot: An animated retelling of the Charles Dickens novel about Ebenezer Scrooge (Carrey), a Victorian-era miser who is taken on a journey of self-redemption, courtesy of several mysterious Christmas apparitions.
The Republibot Take: Man, when Robert Zemeckis commits to a technology that dude just doesn't back down does he? This is basically the fourth full length feature film he has spearheaded in the Motion Capture realm – the only one he didn't direct was Monster House. The others were that spooky Christmas one about the train and the very nearly awesome Beowulf. How cool would it have been for that creepy train kid to accidentally end up sitting across from Beowulf on the way to the North Pole? That is the movie I want to see.
Actually, I think Zemeckis is a pretty smart guy – he can poor a ton of cash into refining a technology by doing a holiday film with big names attached to it and even if it sucks it will make money. People have a huge blind spot when it comes to Christmas stuff. “Christmas? Cartoon? Pack up the kids and let’s go, Margie – it’s a family outing!!” Quality is secondary. He hit on that formula with the Christmas train movie and then forgot it with Beowulf, and then after the disastrous box office of that he got back on track. Next up though he is stepping a bit outside of his business plan, but still playing it smart. He is doing a mocap remake of Yellow Submarine. The only other things people will lay down good money for without worrying about quality is dead Michael Jackson songs or any type of Beatles incarnation.
It is supposed to be relatively faithful to the original Dickens story, so I will give it a solid 6 for the Sci-fi quotient, mainly since the Sci-fi quotient is more of genre quotient at
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Comments
27 December 2008
1 min 24 sec
I dunno. Either there's a specific kind of cinematic energy you only get from having a young, hot Russian model sleeping with the director, or else Milla herself seems to think there is, 'cuz she's done that a lot.
In any event, Milla's career (Prior to her descent into Zombie-fu flicks) was always wildly uneven - good role, bad role, good role bad film, bad role good film, and so on. Based on that, I do think she has some acting chops that actually are different from a zillion other girls out there, but it seems to be hard for her to access them.
I mean, Good Lord! She did a Leonardo DiCaprio impression for two straight hours in that damn Joan of Arc film...
2 January 2009
9 hours 40 min
I agree in general on what Milla brought to the film, but I disagree that what she brought was specifically due to her. I think it was more due to her being a young, attractive girl with very little self-consciousness about herself. There is a whole industry out there that prays on that type of person - the role could have been played by a plethora of similar girls, she was just the one lucky enough to be sleeping with the director at the time.
This was the first movie that I ever saw Chris Tucker in and I am surprised that he actually ended up being in more films after it. And even made a ton of money doing it.
I hated the Rush Hour movies - but that could just be my offended half-asian self saying that.
27 December 2008
1 min 24 sec
...played by Chris Tucker.
Poor Chris Tucker. With Michael Jackson dead, there's officially no one in hollywood that he can stand next too and look manly.
I'm gonna' disagree: Milla is exactly what that movie needed, a breezy, unselfconsious, ingeneue who can babble nonsense convincingly, kick ass, and take her clothes off without appearing slutty. She's great in that film.
I'm surprised you never made the Heavy Metal connection before - Mobius actually assisted with some of the production design on the film.
For me, it works: It's got an obvious moral, but so does Metropolis, and Star Wars, and most other successful movies. I give it bonus points for having a moral at all (Most SF films don't), and I just enjoy it as a (Still!) eyepopping roller coaster ride that's frequently really funny, too.
Probably I should review it for the site...
2 January 2009
9 hours 40 min
Exactly!!
Neo, not sure why I didn't make that connection before, but now that you said it, it is pretty obvious, Fifth Element is basically an awesome live action version of Heavy Metal magazine and all that that entails, the loud coloring, the stuffy unshaven male hero's face, the hot chick in barely covering "clothing", the obnoxious older ladies, the ominous bad guys working for major shady industrial interests, the goofy looking monster aliens and the lack of any discernibly well-thought out plot.
It is more Heavy Metal than the two animated Heavy Metal movies.
27 June 2009
6 hours 7 min
Bruce Willis can act when that happen. I like the Fifth Element but it does have a Heavy Metal magazine feel to it that is both good and distracting at the same time.
I really wish people would stop trying to sell the alien abduction theme using stories from people that should be on medication. There has been one count them one abduction case that has even a little credibility and its evidence is wholly circumstantial. So I would pass on The Fourth Kind which is getting really bad reviews from other sci fi sites.
2 January 2009
9 hours 40 min
If there is another movie that I am absolutely as conflicted as I am with Fifth Element I am not sure what it would be. It is colorful, weird and the effects hold up surprsingly well and there is a certain (to steal from the French that made it) Joie de Vivre to it that approaches compelling, but man is the moral lame and obvious. Plus Milla doesn't carry that movie in any way, that is Bruce Willis. And he feels out of place in it the whole thing - it is like he thinks he is acting in a completely different movie.
27 December 2008
1 min 24 sec
>>>I love Milla Jovovich. But only when she is in tight clothing killing zombies in Resident Evil movies. She has proven otherwise that she can’t really carry a movie.<<<
What about when she's wearing a weird white ace bandage thing, or a stretchy pink rubber bathing suit over her clothes, and saving the world in "The Fifth Element?"
What about when she's 16 and releases a surprisingly good CD? (But not, I agree, when she's like 24 and releases an utterly crappy CD that was produced in between sessions of banging DJ AM)