Skip to Content

ORIGINAL FICTION: "Number One With A Bullet" by Republibot 3.0

Republibot 3.0's picture

“Number One with a Bullet”
Written 3/24/12

She stared at the mysterious, sleeping, total stranger she’d just had sex with. He looked like a biker, but talked and acted like a fag, and made love like a virgin at an eighth grade dance. She didn’t know what to make of him. He had huge mutton chops that merged into a meticulous and waxed mustache, and coal-black hair that was a bit longer than normal, and feathered in the current style, but that was obviously a recent addition to his look. His clothes were normal enough - leisure suits, bell-bottom jeans - but he had seemed uncomfortable in them when she picked him up last night. He was obviously educated, and had a monied-but-bemused look about him. A rich dude slumming? Probably. She knew he wanted her, and that was all she’d really needed at that moment.

She rolled silently out of bed to pee, and then snooped around for a bit. She didn’t bother with clothes or draping a sheet about her, she liked to be naked when she was being surreptitious. It heightened the naughty feeling, and she was still young enough that this sort of thing was exciting. She liked feeling naughty. The apartment was large, but apart from the tatty gilded age furniture, there was nothing remarkable about it. Generic landscapes hanging on the walls, no personal photographs, nothing of a personal nature at all, excepting a collection of snuff boxes. Disappointingly, most were empting. More disappointingly, none of the ones that weren’t empty held any coke. The building itself was pretty old, but well maintained. She figured it for a corporate love next: the kind of place a fortune 500 company kept for execs who needed to dip the wick without leaving a paper trail behind.

She was wrong.

She wasn’t particularly bright, but she was far from stupid, and she was possessed of a kind of ruthless pragmatism that gave her a calculating look many mistook for intelligence. She wasn’t particularly gorgeous, either, but she was better-than-average looking. The nose was a little severe, she was a bit too thin, a bit on the short side, but she had a sumptuous set of breasts that tended to draw the eyes away from her not-particularly-awful flaws. She wasn’t a particularly good singer or dancer, but she was young and cute enough that people liked to watch her fronting bar bands. She wasn’t particularly a prostitute, but, as she edged closer to her nineteenth birthday, she realized it was only a matter of time until she crossed the line on that one.

She’d left Philly for New York City not quite a year before, with dreams of…what, exactly? She didn’t know. “Broadway Star” seemed like an old people dream. A disco diva? That seemed unattainable. A brilliant dancer? Well, she liked it, but she was just good enough to recognize she didn’t have the chops to be great, and how many superstar dancer jobs were there, anyway? Artist? Who even knew what art was anymore? Fashion design? Maybe, but, it didn’t pop her cork. She liked wearing fashionable clothes more than figuring them out. Had she hoped to find love and have kids? Ha! Love is for stupid hippies, and a kid? God, no! Did she want to get a real job like normal people? Super extra special God, no!

She’d been semi-homeless all that time, bouncing around between live-in boyfriends for as long as she could milk them and hold their interest, calling on friends when she didn’t have a guy, or some prospect on the hook. There was a gay guy named “Marco” who owned a bar called “The Juicy Fruit” in Greenwich Village who had decided he was her unofficial big sister; sometimes he let her crash in the bar, sleeping on a couch in the foyer when things were really rough and she had nowhere else to go. That didn’t happen much, but it did happen. It happened tonight: big blowout with her latest beau (A self-important artist named ‘Devon.’ She liked his type because even though they never had any money, they were very easy to manipulate), her suitcases on the landing when she got home, a lot of screaming and acrimony, and her pounding the pavement.

When she got to the bar, Marco was being hauled off on drug charges. Cursing, she stashed her bags in a bus locker, and wandered around, trying to figure out what to do. She had about a hundred bucks

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Typo

It was a typo.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

Mama Fisi
Mama Fisi's picture
Offline
Joined: 11/11/2011
Is It About A Hyena?

"Gorge" Bush II? Was that on purpose or a typo? ;)

I don't think you have to state "Oh, and this is about a little ambitious trollop named Madonna Ciccone". I'd stay away from making any direct comparisons, for lots of reasons, namely her lawyers are bigger than yours. Never mind she posed nude with dogs, it's just not a place you want to go.

Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.
Magpie House Comics
http://www.hirezfox.com/km/

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Keep up the good work.

>>Keep up the good work.<<

Thank you! I'll probably rewrite it a bit before it gets anthologized.

I'd actually intended to write a wholly-unrelated story about Gorge Bush II, but I ended up pissing the day away watching episodes of "The Glades."

("Sunny with a chance of Homicide!")

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

Ginrummy
Ginrummy's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/01/2009
Material Girl

Read this last night, and kinda like it. As several people have said, the woman is not a very likable protagonist, but that's obviously on purpose. It helps knowing before hand that you said she's based on Madonna, kinda, which you might want to make a little more stated at the beginning instead of just slightly hinted at along the way.

Keep up the good work.

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Interesting point

Interesting point, but it'd be hard to shoehorn Blondie into a story about ripping off one-hit wonders. Blondie was freakin' HUGE! 34 singles! 17 charting singles in their prime, in 7 different countries, and 4 US #1s.

I did work in Jellybean Benitez, though. And who knows: I may re-write it to make it more overt.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

Republibot 2.0
Offline
Joined: 07/11/2011
Not to imply...

I didn't mean to imply that Debbie Harry is in any way as despicable as your main character, or Madonna. It just seemed that the milieu that you placed this in was Debbie's stomping grounds, and her omission in the story- and the slight parallels- made her conspicuous by her absence.

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
(by way of Debbie Harry...)

>>(by way of Debbie Harry...)<<

Nah, Debbie Harry isn't at all untalented, nor unlikable. Nor evil. And she was better looking in her prime. And she retired to take care of Chris Stein when he got sick, which makes her a good person in my book. Also: Debbie *INVENTED* the whole "Bored sexuality" thing that Madonna and Terri Nunn ripped off...

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Huh

You're right. I should give a full reading to comments from people who didn't give a full reading.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

SheldonCooper
SheldonCooper's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/02/2010
Full Reading

>>What does "Give it a full reading" mean?<<

It means she'll read it thoroughly, as opposed to the way she just passed over it the first time.

>>I was repulsed by her from the very start, so I confess I skimmed the story<<

See? Please try to pay attention. I can't keep spelling things out for you like this.

One lab accident away from being a supervillain! Bazinga!

Republibot 2.0
Offline
Joined: 07/11/2011
Hmmm. Just seemed to be a portrait

of Madonna (by way of Debbie Harry...)

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Unlikeable

Thank you both!

In my head, when I sat down to write this, the protagonist was Madonna, who is thoroughly unlikable. That's why I set it in NYC at the time. It was the story of how she *became* Madonna, basically. Then, as I was writing it, that got to feel a bit constraining, and she became merely Madonna-oid. Then it became a completely different thing entirely.

I dunno. This was the first thing I'd written since a month or so before my Dad died. I wasn't blocked up or anything, but if you don't do something for a long enough time, just the thought of doing it becomes daunting ("I haven't made a sandwich in 27 years...") so I just wanted to do something to keep the gears turning. This was what spewed out when bid. Far from the best thing I've ever done, but actually much cooler - and shorter - than I'd expected.

What does "Give it a full reading" mean?

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

neorandomizer
neorandomizer's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/27/2009
Time kills

The story was interesting but the main character was so totally unlikable that it was hard not to want someone to put a bullet into her brain pan. It was a unique twist to time travel though.

Mama Fisi
Mama Fisi's picture
Offline
Joined: 11/11/2011
This is an interesting

This is an interesting concept, but for me, the female lead is an unpleasant character. I was repulsed by her from the very start, so I confess I skimmed the story, and although she's clever, her behavior further repulsed me. But then I'm a prude.

But I do think the idea of using time travel to get rich is a good one. Dumping the body in the future is also a twist I wasn't expecting, although it's a brilliant use of the technology.

I'll have to give this a full reading.

Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.
Magpie House Comics
http://www.hirezfox.com/km/

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Status

Bleeding Heart does not have a status.

Latest Status Updates

Republibot 3.0 @SheldonCooper: Maybe it's just a polite way to let their aging poser fans know it's ok to stop pretending they like 'em? 1 year ago
SheldonCooper @Republibot 3.0 for a band as old as REM, is it still "breaking up" or is it simply retiring? 1 year ago
Republibot 3.0 Anyone want to review "Terra Nova" for the site? 1 year ago
Republibot 3.0 REM just announced they're breaking up. If only it was 1989 so I could still care... 1 year ago
Ginrummy Netflix streaming: Gave up trying to watch season 1 of Eureka and switched to Season1 of Heroes instead. 1 year ago
kelloggs2066 Has the Saturn V is reborn, with strap on boosters? Keep your fingers crossed! 1 year ago
neorandomizer Two rejected stories http://www.scribd.com/Richard_Anders_6744 1 year ago