Skip to Content

ORIGINAL FICTION: "Bob and the Monastery of Blood" by Republibots 2.0 and 3.0 and Paula Tabor

Republibot 3.0's picture

Blackness, pain, dizziness, pain, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, pain, panic, , nonexistence. Suddenly alert, blinding light, pain, still couldn’t breathes, still couldn’t move. Something wet pooling beneath me, was that blood? Panic, the blackness again. Blind in one eye. More panic. Confusion behind the panic, looking for anything to hold on to, then, the blessed return to unconsciousness. Many times over, it seemed, an eternity.

Something warm and wet was on my face, stroking it, concentrating on the eye I was now blind in. warm, smelly air was hitting me in waves, assaulting my nose, and a panting noise. I startled awake to find a dog licking my face. I tried to shoo it away, but my hands wouldn’t move. I was confused, disoriented, but I could breathe now, and I could see out of my left eye, though it was blurry with what I assumed to be dog spit. Something was moving to my right. I turned my head, and saw an elderly naked man dancing around with a peacock feather and a ball. Embarrassed, I quickly turned back to consider the dog. It looked at me with an expression I thought was unusual for a dog, but before I could really figure out what was odd about it, a wave of pain took me, and I blacked out again.

Something a little cooler than tepid spilled over my lips and down my neck, making me uncomfortably aware of the gritty sand below me as it pooled. I opened my eyes to find the elderly naked man squatted down over me, his shriveled old junk perilously close to my face. He had pushed something to my mouth - the ball-thing he’d been playing with earlier, evidently a cup - and was trying to get me to drink. I shrieked and he startled and ran away. Pain returned. Blackness followed it.

More licking. The dog was back. He looked at me with comprehension strange in a canine, then barked. I felt like I was flying, though very badly. I heard voices. I could make out vague humanoid shapes above me, black against the bright light. Was I dying? Was I dead? Was this what it was like? Not so bad. I‘d half-wanted to die anyway.

“Dan says he’s awake,“ said one of the voices. Suddenly I was jostled, and another wave of pain ripped through my midsection. “Be careful!” another voice exclaimed, “He’s got an exposed rib there!” It was a little chilly. The dog whimpered in concern, and then snuggled up next to me. There was a yelp, and a thud as it fell off of whatever I was laying on. A moving platform of some kind, I gradually realized. A gurney? The dog hopped back up, chose its position a bit more carefully, and snuggled up against me, making a point of keeping eye contact with me. “His vitals are good enough, he’s stable, morph him!” a voice said. “Done!” said another, and then blackness, and, blissfully, there was no pain this time.

I awoke in a hospital bed, and the dog was still there, still in the same position, still looking at me. When he saw my eyes open he barked. I contemplated him while he contemplated me. A chocolate lab, I decided, his head seemed ever so slightly too large for his body, but apart from that, he seemed a perfectly normal dog. There was something about his eyes, though it was hard to quite nail it down, since their eyes convey a lot of emotion. This one seemed, I don’t know, perhaps a bit too understanding? No, that’s not it. My nose itched. I went to scratch it, and the hand that met my face wasn’t my own. Startled, I shouted. A woman in a nun’s uniform was walking in just a moment before, and she darted towards the bed, pushed the offending hand out of the way, and grabbed my head.

“You are OK,” she said in a stern, commanding voice. Even so, she had that same slightly-fake sounding Southern accent all Gagariners have, “There was an accident, but you are OK now. You are in the infirmary at the Saint Salome nunnery.”

I tried to say something, but all that came out was a confused whimper. The dog commiserated with a similar sound, and I felt its paw on my chest. Trying to comfort me?

“Your hand was very badly burned, we had to give you a skin glove. Do you understand me? Do you need a

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Republibot 2.0
Offline
Joined: 07/11/2011
Flies

Nah, they're to keep space flies out.

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Window Treatments?

Because there were women on the ship, and women like window treatments?

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

Republibot 2.0
Offline
Joined: 07/11/2011
Aw, shucks!

Stop it! If anybody didn't do anything here, it's me.

It's Paula's raw material and Kev took the raw material and crafted it into readable form.

(Ian goes back to hammering out a rationale as to why his starship has screens on the windows....)

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
"Writing"

The actual physical "Writing" is just one part of the whole thing. It's like saying the guy who painted the house actually *built* the thing. It's your guts, I just hung the drywall.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

slushgem
slushgem's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/14/2010
Well

And then he wrote the entire story...

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Untrue

She's being too modest. The entire story was her idea, I just gave it a stock location (The planet Gagarin). We worked out most of the details of the second half of the story together. Her original draft revolved around the monks finding a mysterious stranger in the desert. My only real pivotal plot contribution was having the mysterious stranger be Bob Wilson rather than someone completely new.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

slushgem
slushgem's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/14/2010
Credit

This is Paula. "Can't take much credit" Right. Don't listen to him. He did most of the work and did a great job.

I just added 1 character and a setting. They did the rest.

neorandomizer
neorandomizer's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/27/2009
It works for me

>>Chandler's Rule, paraphrased: If you ever get completely stuck, have a random new character come into the room and initiate violence. Getting your other characters to deal with a new plot complication while wondering what the hell is going on should be good for a few hundred words.<<

I was going to say that Chandler broke the story writing rules regularly but he and Hammett invented the hard boiled detective story which as a genre broke all the rules. Case in point 'The Maltese Falcon' and 'The Big Sleep' both have new violent characters popping up every other chapter.

Jake Was Here
Offline
Joined: 07/24/2009
Chandler's Rule, paraphrased:

Chandler's Rule, paraphrased: If you ever get completely stuck, have a random new character come into the room and initiate violence. Getting your other characters to deal with a new plot complication while wondering what the hell is going on should be good for a few hundred words.

Republibot 2.0
Offline
Joined: 07/11/2011
NaNoWriMo

I'm currently lagging a bit. Today was not as productive as it should've been.

Vampires in space are harder to write about than you might think....

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Yup

Yeah, that's the one.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

Scorpious
Scorpious's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/11/2010
November novel

>>R2 is writing a novel as part of the 'novel in a month' contest. It's not at all related to the R.U.<<

Is this the NaNoWriMo project? I really wanted to do it, but as November loomed, I realized it was really the most awful month for it to be set in for me, so I had to pass.

I did get my sister-in-law signed up tho :-)

Republibot 3.0
Republibot 3.0's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/27/2008
Confidence?

Hey, thanks! Collaborative effort. I can't take much credit for it. This one was actually a hard one to wright through, it took *days* and yours is actually the first feedback the three of us have had on it (thank you!) - but it *DEFINITELY* is different from all my other stuff I've co-written in that we actually had a firm plan in mind while we were writing it.

Normally I just wing it, making crap up as I go along, with only the vaguest notion how it'll all end. This one was actually plotted out going on two years ago in fair detail, and then for various logistical reasons it just went no further, and it was basically holding up the series. Finally, R2 and I just sidestepped it and wrote "Bob and the Allegory of the Cave," which comes after this.

A couple months back we all just finally said "Nuts to this, let's plow through this thing and just get it done so it's not hanging over our heads anymore!" So we did. Even with the notes, though, it ended up being harder to wrestle than I'd anticipated. Took the better part of a week, and ended up at 20,000 words (Over 2x what we'd expected), but there's not really anything in it that you can cut. As such, we'll be running the story in 4 installments.

I can't speak for the others, but I'm *really* happy with it. All the Bob stories have been completely different: puzzle-box mystery, spy story, haunted cave, and this one fits that trend in that it's nothing like the others. I think I've got maybe one more Bob story in me. R2 probably has more.

Paula is writing a more-or-less unrelated Redneck Universe story called "Cowboys and Indians" set on the heretofore unchronicled planet known as "Saint White." R2 is writing a novel as part of the 'novel in a month' contest. It's not at all related to the R.U. As usual, I'm gadding about with other things.

The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0

neorandomizer
neorandomizer's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/27/2009
Me want more

Interesting: seems to be written with more confidence than your earlier work.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Status

Bleeding Heart does not have a status.

Latest Status Updates

Ginrummy Ray Harryhausen, Visual Effects Master, Dies Aged 92 1 week ago
SheldonCooper Iron Man 3 review will be live first thing in the morning! 1 week ago
SheldonCooper @Kevin Long Second, it reminds us to never stop looking to the future and trying to make it better. Everything Trek's ever stood for 2 weeks ago
SheldonCooper @Kevin Long Observing a fictional event like First Contact Day is, first and foremost, just fun. 2 weeks ago
Kevin Long @SheldonCooper: can you comemorate an event before it happens? Or what about celebrating an event that didn't, like September 13th, 1999? 2 weeks ago
SheldonCooper @Kevin Long according to Star Trek, April 5, 2063 will be the day we make FC with the Vulcans. Thus, April 5 is FC day 3 weeks ago
Kevin Long @SheldonCooper: Huh? First contact day? 4 weeks ago