MOVIE REVIEW: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Wil Avitt
Wil Avitt's picture

Well, it's better than the first one, I can say that much for it. Here's the thing, I liked G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, though I realize I'm in the minority on that one, but it was a perfectly mediocre movie. It wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't unwatchable, either. My biggest problem with the first G.I. Joe was that it was kind of just a two hour toy commercial. I would much have preferred a more straight-forward military action film. But it wasn't terrible, and in a lot of ways, Retaliation is slightly better.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation tells the story of Cobra's massive plans for revenge after the defeat they suffered at the hands of the Joe team in the first movie, as well as a defeat or two between movies, which we didn't get to see. The movie opens with Cobra Commander and Destro being held captive in a super cryo-prison at the G.I. Joe headquarters, The Pit. Cobra orchestrates an attack on the Joes, resulting in the team being all but annihilated. The rag-tag group of soldiers left, Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki), Flint and Roadblock (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson), set out to find the G.I. Joe founder, General Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis), to orchestrate their own counter-assault, this time the objective being to end the terrorist organization Cobra once and for all.

There were no strength-enhancing Iron Man suits in this movie, which is a huge plus. One disappointment I had was that Flint doesn't wear a beret through the entire film, not until then end when everyone is in their dress uniforms, but then they're all wearing them so it really doesn't stand out as being unique to his character, as it always was in the cartoons. But that really is something of a minor grievence. All in all, Retaliation did a fairly good job of trying to fix some of the downfalls of the first film and tried to really make it feel more like a G.I. Joe movie, and not just this thing called G.I. Joe that had a few minor similarities. However, as I said, Retaliation does also have some faults of its own. The biggest fault being almost the complete lack of any returning actors. Duke, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and Zartan are the only returning characters, played by the original actors. Also, most of the wire work in the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow fight was pretty cheesy and obvious. But it was mostly a good movie. If you didn't hate the first one, you'd probably have a pretty good time with the second one. If there is one biggest failing of this film, it was the pointless year-long delay. Most of you may remember that G.I. Joe: Retaliation was supposed to come out last year. Well, some studio executive, in his infinite stupidity, decided in May to push back the film's June 2012 release date to March 2013, because The Hunger Games had a huge March opening. That was a colossially stupid decision, especially since last summer G.I. Joe: Retaliation was all over Dr. Pepper boxes and Doritos bags, and there was no movie, but this year there was a movie but it wasn't being advertised. A complete waste of time and money, that will only serve to hurt the movie's performance in the long run.

Will Conservatives Like This Movie?

Oh, absolutely. Like the first, it plays the military in a noble light and, to me most importantly, there is a great scene that pretty much demonstrates why nuclear disarmament would just be all bad.