Hey, Botophiles! Sorry I've been a little lax in my duties lately. I missed Battleship and Prometheus due to starting a new job with a little more future than my last job and it's been a crazy couple months. But, I should be back on my game now. And what better way to return than with a new comic book movie? I can't think of one. Well, yes I could. The Dark Knight Rises would have been better. Unfortunately, though, my first review back is going to have to be luke-warm at best. Yes, friends, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man's newest theatrical outing is a little disappointing and it leaves the viewer somewhat cold. It looks absolutely stunning, and it makes the best use of the 3D format I've seen to date. However, it's kind of like going out on a first date with a super hot girl only to find out she's got no personality. Sure, she's pretty to look at and she gets your motor running, but the moment she opens her mouth you just want to look her in the eye and tell her that less is more.
The Amazing Spider-Man is a reboot of the Spidey film franchise, and in my opinion it was too soon. With the Sam Raimi trilogy still in our hearts and minds, even with a disappointing third act (I say disappointing, and you know, it was, but I don't think Spider-Man 3 is deserving of the hate it gets), The Amazing Spider-Man just can't seem to compare. Once again we're treated to Spidey's origin story, a story we all know well and really didn't need to see again. This time we're treated to a bit more of Peter's backstory, we learn (sort of) what happened to his parents and why he lives with Uncle Ben (who is STILL never shown making rice) and Aunt May. Martin Sheen does a good job as Uncle Ben but I honestly had a hard time buying Sally Field as Aunt May. Not sure why, just did. We're also treated to a villain we haven't seen yet, but were teased with throughout the Sam Raimi movies: The Lizard. The problem here is, it isn't the Lizard or the Curt Connors we've been invested in. It was almost as though they chose the Lizard because the fans were invested in Doctor Connors and were waiting to see him change, but they didn't seem to realize that this wasn't our Doc Connors and we had no emotional investment in this guy. Plus, much like Abomination in The Incredible Hulk, he just looked a bit off. Too human, really. I honestly saw more Killer Croc than Lizard in him.
Already seeds are being laid for a sequel. We're introduced to Gwen Stacy and the name Norman Osborn is dropped a ton, so I can only assume the second movie might involve the Green Goblin and the death of a certain blond bombshell, especially since such a big deal is made of Peter making sure Gwen stays safe. As I do so love the Goblin, I am looking forward to the second movie and seeing if they can do a better job than the Power Ranger reject we got for the first outing with the Green Goblin, but Willem Defoe did such a great job that the stupid costume was actually made to work, so they do have their work cut out for them if they are planning to resurrect Norman and his alter-ego.
My biggest issue with The Amazing Spider-Man was story. It dragged. My 6-year-old, Kal-El, was so looking forward to this movie because for some reason he loves the Lizard (I've always thought he was kinda lame myself), and he slept through most of it. The movie is REALLY boring. Now, an origin movie is boring by nature. Especially when it's a story you know so well. But this one just really seemed to drag. The Amazing Spider-Man isn't unwatchable, but it definitely could have been a lot better. Here's my recommendation for Hollywood, if you really have to reboot a franchise, really think about whether or not that origin story REALLY needs told again, or if you're just doing it for show. Just to say, "Hey, this is a new franchise! See? We're starting over from scratch!" Because, honestly, when you're just going through the motions, and The Amazing Spider-Man really did just seem to be doing just that, it really shows. So, I am looking forward to a second date with our hot blond, I just really wish she'll have read a book by then. Cheers, and leave your comments in the appropriate venue below!