EPISODE REVIEW: Warehouse 13: "Time will tell" Season 2 Episode 1

Ok this is my first time reviewing a show for the site so please bear with me as I learn the art of writing interesting articles about uninteresting shows.

SPOILERS AHOY.

To recap last season’s finalem Artie is apparently killed in an explosion, Claudia is on the run and Leena is a mole for MacPherson.

First: last season’s cliffhanger is resolved in the first five minutes. It seems Artie had the phoenix medallion in his pocket and like the Phoenix of myth he is reborn from the ashes of the explosion. Myka and Pete have just minutes to run downstairs and badly act shocked and sad when Artie appears.

Now as you may or may not know, when the phoenix medallion is used someone must die, so after a bad gag of Pete chocking on the ash and dust in the air the scene switches to Mrs. Fredric’s car where her driver/bodyguard starts coughing smoke. Next we hear a crash and the Scooby gang run outside to see the car in flames and Mrs. Fredric lying on the ground in the distance.

While all of the above action is happening, Leena is freeing an unknown person from the bronze and turning them over to MacPherson at another exit from the warehouse.

Next we have Artie dreaming that a comatose Mrs. Fredric tells him that MacPherson is playing the long game and mentions Claudia’s bother. Artie than returns to the warehouse and is going around his office and packing all his artifact goodies hidden in odd places. He tells Pete, Myka and Leena to hold down the fort and stay at the warehouse and check what MacPherson has done there as he announces he is going to Geneva to intercept Claudia.

After some sleuthing Pete and Myka discover that a bronzed person has been revived and it’s H. G. Wells. So after some more research Pete and Myka decide to fly to London looking for Wells. Leena has a strange flash that makes her dizzy but tells them she is ok.

Claudia at this time is in a computer store and video conferences with her bother and she warns him about MacPherson who her bother knows as his physics instructor from college. After the call a man comes in and tells Claudia’s bother he is getting a security upgrade and leaves. Outside the man sees himself and removes the irritating thimble from last season and it's MacPherson.

Claudia leaves the store and is walking down a street that is supposed to be Geneva but looks like Canada to me. She feels like someone is following her and looks back. Claudia does this stop and look thing a few times so we know she is being followed. She goes down an alley and turns a corner. We now get a first person view of someone following Claudia. When they turn the corner the stalker gets hit on the head. Surprise: it’s Artie.

Artie and Claudia do a little vaudeville and then decide to trust each other and off they go to CERN. Now in the middle of CERN looking for the anti-matter room (a must on the tour) when they see Claudia’s bother with a metal briefcase marked anti-matter (where’s Boris and Natasha?) walking on a catwalk with his supervisor. Claudia runs up a set of convenient stairs and the Supervisor points at Artie and yells that he is a terrorist and Artie is grabbed. Claudia sees the man is wearing a thimble and removes it and surprise it’s MacPherson how pushes the bother off the catwalk.

Pete and Myka are on a London street (which looks like Canada) in front of H. G. Wells’s house. Pete complains that it’s a dump and they go in. Now for the next few minutes of the show Pete who is not the sharpest pencil in the box acts like a complete moron.

First he accuses an actor of being Wells and then he pulls the “I am US Secret Service” line. Like they care in London. After Myka smoothes things over and everyone leaves they start to search the house.

While Myka does her job, Pete lets a woman back in who says she has forgotten her notebook and starts to make out with her. Myka gets a call from Artie in Geneva who is pissed they are in London and then informs her that H. G. Wells is a woman. (What?)

So of course the woman Pete is sucking face with is Wells who grabs his tesla and tells us she worked at Warehouse 12 and knew Tesla. Myka distracts her with a ringtone and tells her she would not mind shooting a woman.

With Wells handcuffed to a chair they get her to talk, they find the hidden control panel that opens the secret door that has an electric corset in it. Wells gets Pete to close a switch that causes Pete and Myka to get stuck to the ceiling. Wells now free tells us that her bother Charley was the writer and she gave him story ideas from her inventions. She also tells them that people that are bronzed are awake and aware; oh yah - all men are pigs - and leaves Myka and Pete hanging. Pete after a bit of bad acting shoots a ceiling light with his tesla and they fall to the floor.

After a TV conference Artie tells everyone to get to the Warehouse because that is where MacPherson and Wells are going. He also tells them that the electric corset is a device that makes people into the Flash and they stole the anti-matter to power it. MacPherson and Wells need to move fast so they can get through the Escher room where the bronzed people have their personal effects stored.

Back at the boardinghouse Mrs. Fredric talks to Leena and then starts too choke her to death. Leena passes out and a pearl rolls out of her ear Fredric explains that is how MacPherson controlled her so she is not a mole and, oh, yeah, sorry about the whole 'choking' thing.

Back at the Warehouse MacPherson opens the Escher room and Wells goes in. Artie and Claudia arrive before Pete and Myka and start out for the room but bet trapped between invisible land mines and Dante’s death mask.

Myka and Pete arrive read a note for them from Artie and then take the boatswain’s line to get to the Escher Room quickly. Wells comes out and sweet talks MacPherson and while she is about to kiss him Pete cuffs him from behind. Myka was wearing the thimble and MacPherson is caught. But is he?

Wells comes out of the Escher room behind MacPherson as Artie and Claudia get there, and cuts the necklace off his neck. She then speeds away. MacPherson starts to burn from the inside.

MacPherson tells Artie that he gave him the Phoenix so Artie would feel the darkness and hopelessness of the universe. Artie says he felt light and hope and MacPherson realizes he has been wrong and then turns to dust.

The end scene is Wells in a coffee shop drawing and guy asks what she is working on and she tells him that it’s something she has been thinking about a long time.

Observations:

The episode had a lot of hurry and curry but not much plot and it was an OK way to waste an hour but not much else. Artie being saved so quickly made me feel cheated and the whole pearl thing controlling Leena means we will have some eye candy this season but also her irritating psychobabble. I am sorry to see Roger Rees go he was a good villain.

This episode seemed a long and pointless way to remove one villain and give us a new one.