Warehouse 13 pulls out a win tonight, and no one is happier than me. Though they’ve only had one truly awful episode thus far (The Lewis Caroll’s Mirror one), I have to admit I’ve never been fully invested in this show, and the last three or four episodes have begun to feel like drudgery to watch. No, that’s too harsh. It wasn’t drudgery, never that bad, but it’s something I found it hard to look forward to. Thus I’m really glad they were able to get a really solid hit tonight, even if they haven’t really knocked one out of the park yet. It helps rebuild my never-quite-established-in-the-first-place faith in the show.
PLAY BY PLAY
It’s a slow day. Myka and Pete have it off, Artie is just delivering reports by courier to the shadowy cabal that Mrs. Fredericks works for, and Claudia is just doing maintenance crap in the warehouse itself. Claudia fixes a robot vacuum cleaner (And just as an aside, that might be the first time in my life that I’ve ever managed to spell “Vacuum” correctly on the first go. And this was the second. “I’m learnding!”), and then goes on to fix Artie’s zipline, and she’s using artifacts to cool down her drinks, thus proving she learned nothing last week. While working on the zipline, the robo-vacuum she fixed (Badly) goes screwy and knocks her, so she ends up sliding down the zipline, screaming semi-comedicly and then the line disconnects, dropping her and knocking over a whole bunch of evil artifacts stored on the storage shelves in the warehouse, including - among other things - an dodgeball and some cans of silly string, both presumably evil.
Pete and Myka, having no lives of their own, come by the warehouse to check on Claudia, and quickly realize they’re getting alarms all over the place for active artifacts, the Zipline is down, and the girl’s missing. They follow the downed line to try and find her, eventually running afoul of the dodge ball. It’s no longer presumably evil, we discover that it was an Army training dodgeball (really) that was involved in a bludgeoning death of several cadets in 1970. After some mild slapstick, Pete solves that one (He catches the dodge ball), but as always they over-sell his goofyness. Then they come across some unexplained lightning, then they find an exact duplicate of Lena’s Bed and Breakfast INSIDE the warehouse, with a Claudia-shaped hole in the roof.
They go in, but before Claudia can warn them not to let the door close, they let the door close, and find they’re basically in an infinitely recursive painting. If Pete goes out the front door, he comes back in through a side door, if he jumps through a window, he instantly flies back in through the next one. Claudia tried climbing out through the hole she made in the roof, and ended up coming in through the chimney. Eventually, they surmise there must have been an artifact in Lena’s house that they couldn’t remove, so they moved the WHOLE house in here, and rebuilt a duplicate. Stupid theory, but hey, this is a stupid show. They quickly notice the painting they’re recursing through, and after some pretty funny trial and error they presently find their way out.
Claudia checks some backup monitors she put on the floor over Artie’s objections (“Why are you wasting time putting backup monitors on the floor, wayward redhaired girl?” or something like that. It was funny), and she realizes that the “Gooery” that pumps the “Gack” that keeps the artifacts from “Artifacting” is blocked up somehow and about to go blooey, and a prerecorded version of Ms. Fredericks’ voice comes on the PA to inform them they’ve only got about 10 minutes to fix it or die. To get to the Gooery fastest, they decided to cut through the “Dark Vault” where the really dangerous stuff is kept, and, well, it’s less than impressive, visually speaking. It looks a lot like a church Halloween haunted house, to be honest. None the less, Pete manages to get enthralled by Sylvia Plath’s typewriter, and it’s killing him. (“Syivia Plath was an emotionally disturbed writer who took her own life and…” “Myka, I spent a lot of time *IN* the Bell Jar. I know who Sylvia Plath was.” “Oh, sorry.”) Myka sends Claudia on to fix the Gooery while she tries various not-very-clever methods of getting Pete away from the evil typewriter’s sphere of influence, then she just hits
Or does she? I mean, she came back from the dead just to finish her job, and found the love of a bald dude on the way...
I'm joking, of course.
The Artist Formerly Known As Republibot 3.0