EPISODE REVIEW: Survivors: “Episode 4” (Episode 4)

These kids - one of whom is named “Peter” - are walking through the woods when a loonie jumps out, takes their (dull) knife, and threatens them with it. The kids run back to a big manor house, and tell some older kids about it. The older kids decide to go hunting. They chase the loonie though the woods, and manage to sink an arrow in his leg before he stumbles across Suburban Mom in her Suburban Mom Mobile. He jumps in the car, the kids attack, she drives off.

The car is pretty much trashed. Loonie tries to fix it, but of course he’s got an arrow in his leg (Well, really only the arrow-hole), and he asks her if she wants to come back to his place. Since he’s a loonie being chased by an angry mob, and he’s got a gaping flesh wound, and he lives in a cave, she says ‘yeah,’ because, as I understand it, that’s pretty posh by British standards. When an opportunity for a love like that comes along, you’ve really got to nail it down.

Back at the cave - I’m not joking about that, he lives in a cave, despite there being about 78 million empty houses available - he explains that he’s not really a loonie, he’s just been trying to scare those meddling kids and their talking dog off. (Ok, so there’s no talking dog). In fact, he really doesn’t explain any of this, I just sort of surmised it. The big manor house the kids are in belonged to his family, and he wants it back. He mentions there’s a kid there named “Peter.” Then he and Suburban Mom go skinny-dipping and have sex in a lake, because, hey, he’s a creepy homeless guy who lives in a cave and was recently run through with an arrow. Suburban Mom is already in her 40s, you know, her options are dwindling. If she doesn’t go for it now, she may never have another opportunity to make it in a lake with a caveman.

After sex, she goes to the manor house to see the kid - who’s named Peter, by the way. Did I mention that? Repeatedly? - after some entirely pointless melodrama, it turns out that this Peter isn’t her son, who is also named Peter. Saw that coming, didn’t you? Yup. Pretty much everyone did, excepting the writer, I guess. She attempts to mediate a peace between the boys and the loonie, and like a rube, loonie goes for it. They immediately club him on the head and tie him to a chair, but he uses his super-loonie powers to escape and then acts all crazy until Peter - the fake Peter - gets stabbed by one of the other knife-wielding maniacs around. Loonie immediately gets serious (It’s all in fun until someone gets stabbed) and starts barking orders to the kids to bring boiling water and clean newspaper and an obstetrician and whatever, so he can fix the wound. The kids adopt him as their new leader. Now that the Loonie is sane and no longer hopeless, Suburban Mom kicks him to the curb because ‘he’s just not the same guy I fell in love with.’ She heads home.

Meanwhile, Greg and the Pretty Lady Doctor sit at home and do nothing of note.

Meanwhile, Psychokiller, Rich Idiot, Muslim Boy, and that Ambitious Skank who was exchanging sex for room and board in the Costco a few weeks back, decide to give the Fascist Children’s Museum a try. They head there, meet up with the Health Minister lady, and settle in. They (evidently) work a full day, then go to sleep in the dorm. The next morning, Rich Idiot is surly, and the Health Minister Lady banishes him. He sneaks back into the Compound to free Muslim Boy, and as they escape, Psycho Killer chases them, but to no avail. Health Minister Lady notices Psychokiller’s prison tat, and banishes him as well. He goes to see the Ambitious Skank, and she wants to go home, too. For no particular reason, Psychokiller scares the hell out of Gavin, Health Minister Lady’s right-hand maniac, then they drive home.

They meet up with Rich Idiot and Muslim Boy en rout, and all get back to their place, where they find Suburban Mom asleep on the kitchen table.

The End.

OBSERVATIONS

This is the first episode to have no tacked-on scenes of the doctors in their super secret lab doing super secret things. Good.

This was probably the most consistent episode to date, though the direction wasn’t as good as last week. My only beef is that Greg was barely in it, and he’s the most compelling character on the show. Pretty Doctor Lady is, I guess, a spare tire character, to use if any of the others suddenly go flat (Rich Idiot, I’m looking at you!) Otherwise, she won’t be used, and her brief appearances are pretty much the cinematic equivalent of seeing your tire ever time you open up the trunk to get your fishing tackle. So I guess what I’m saying is that she’s Wedge Antilles. Only pretty. And with bosoms.

The Fascist Children’s Museum was really the more interesting of the plots this week, though there’s a bit of a disconnect between how it’s depicted this time out, and last week. Health Minister Lady seemed genuinely hopeful, helpful, and gregarious, and when she killed the raider, she seemed genuinely shook up by it, horrified at what she had to do. Here, she’s simply autocratic, and a bit passive-aggressive about it.

As has been commented upon elsewhere, the show is pretty obviously cynical about power and authority. Since Health Minister Lady is the last surviving member of the legitimate government, she is also the last surviving bit of legitimate governmental evil, and hence she has to be a villain, though not a particularly interesting one. She’s essentially turning the Children’s Museum and its environs into a little fiefdom, a feudal state.

Abject and unreasonable British fear of autocracy notwithstanding (Seriously, as England *ever* been fascist? Certainly not in the last 400 years or so), her plan actually makes sense. Were I in that circumstance, I’d be trying to establish some kind of order as well, though I like to think I’d be a bit more effectual with it. Certainly, I wouldn’t be shooting people in the head, or chasing off prospective recruits.

Psychokiller is interesting in this one. It appears he’s legitimately trying to put his past behind him, though he’s not really sure where his loyalties lay. Suburban Mom and the Suburban Mom Enclave accept him without any question of who or what he was. Health Minister, however, can’t let his crimes against a no-longer-extant state go. He has no choice but to leave as sort of an outward manifestation of his inward change from Psychokiller to Psychopatriarch. Hooray for Psychopatriarchs!

Ambitious Skank appears to have a thing for Psychokiller, but it’s unclear if she genuinely likes him, or is trying to endear herself to him in exchange for status and security, or if she’s just got that certain itch, and there’s not a lake or homeless bleeding guy around to satisfy it in the traditional English way.

Presumably, Loonie died ten days later from an infection he got while swimming in the lake with a gaping flesh wound.

So, uhm, there's no polite way to ask this, but I couldn't help but wonder: Did anyone think to pack some birth control? I mean, these people can't even seem to remember to take flashlights with them, and no one's even thought of finding a gun or even a rifle yet, so it seems unlikely...