GI Joe

GI Joe Public Service Announcements

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In 1970 the Federal Communications Commission, acting under the direction of Congress, adopted new regulations regarding children’s programming. This was primarily done in reaction to Mattel’s “Hot Wheels” cartoon of 1969, which was met with stern opposition by various parental busybody organizations. These regulations effectively had three goals (1) Remove death and violence from all cartoons, (2) Cartoons can not be used as long-form commercials for toys, and (3) any cartoons produced after 1970 had to include educational content.

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Meet The GI Joe Support Staff

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Duke: “You wanted to see me, General?”

General Hawk: “Actually, I sent for your replacement, Lt. Falcon, and he‘s already here…wait, aren’t you dead?“

Duke: “No, it was only a coma.”

Hawk: “Are you sure? I saw a snake eat your freakin’ heart!”

Duke: “Nope, I was saved by a voiceover and parental outrage at the death of Optimus Prime.”

Hawk: “Wow! Lucky Duck!”

Duke: “Don’t I know it! The writers had my idiot half-brother here taking over the team.

Falcon: “Hey! I’m right here, you know!”

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EPISODE REVIEW: GI Joe Renegades: “Revelations, Part 1” (Episode 25)

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Sixteen years ago, Scarlet figures out the combination on her father’s safe. He tells her there’s nothing in there so interesting as she may think, and he shoos her on her way.

Eight years ago, Scarlet’s father, a scientist for Cobra, perfects the MASS device, a teleported, in an effort to end war. He quickly realizes Cobra is evil.

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EPISODE REVIEW: GI Joe Renegades: “Going Underground” (Episode 24)

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There is very little in this world that is cooler than a ninja wearing a duster riding a chopper. A Ninja being chased by an angry robotic sandworm from “Dune” through tunnels while wearing a duster and riding a chopper is one of those very few things.

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EPISODE REVIEW: GI Joe Renegades: “The Anomaly” (Episode 21)

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After a surprisingly long hiatus, GI Joe returns with a mild surprise: Ripcord is back in the opening credits! And he’s on the team. Yeah, I know he left with the team when they rescued him in the previous episode, but so did Shipwreck a while back, you know? So they’re open to expanding the core team, rather than just endlessly lining up allies and enemies. That’s a nice touch.

Oh, yeah, the episode: Meh. Good meh, but still basically meh.

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EPISODE REVIEW: GI Joe Renegades: “Prodigal” (Episode 20)

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Say, that was pretty frackin’ good!

Like 18 years ago there was an X-Men cartoon on Fox, I think. The first episode involved them introducing someone you assumed was a main character - “Morph” was his name - and then killing him off for shock value in the last act of the episode. Of course this being an early ‘90s cartoon, they could get away with stuff like that (Unlike in the 80s) but it still felt kinda’ out of place, kind of vicious, so, of course, they brought him back a few years into the run of the show.

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