Crapfest

SATURDAY AFTERNOON B-MOVIE CRAPFEST: “Battle Beyond the Stars” (1980)

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There are all kinds of bad movies. There’s the bad ones that are so bad as to be simply unwatchable - pretty much anything by Andy Warhol, for instance - and then there’s the bad ones of no particular distinction that are simply forgotten - “Starship Invasions” staring Robert Vaughn comes to mind. There are movies that get the rep of being terrible, but actually aren’t that bad - “The Giant Gila Monster” is all kinds of dumb, for instance, but there’s an earnest sweetness to it people overlook.

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SATURDAY AFTERNOON B-MOVIE CRAPFEST: “Battle In Outer Space” (1959)

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Yes, yes, I know, I know, it’s Monday, not Saturday. We’ve been all through this already: This is about the kinds of movies I used to *watch* on a Saturday afternoon, that doesn’t mean I can only talk about ‘em on a Saturday. So let’s just free our minds of our strictly literal interpretations of things that are, frankly, beneath our notice anyway. I mean, it’s not like the movies I’m reviewing in this feature are any good, right?

That said: We haven’t done one of these in a long while, but when I came across a Japanese space movie I’d never seen before, I just knew I had to cover it.

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SATURDAY AFTERNOON B-MOVIE CRAPFEST: “Fiend Without A Face” (1958)

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It’s been a long time since we’ve done one of these, but I thought it might be fun to revisit the feature, even if it’s only infrequently. For those of you new to the site, yes, I know it’s Monday, not Saturday, but that’s not the point. The “Saturday Afternoon B-Movie Crapfest” isn’t about a day of the week, but the kinds of movies that used to be shown on UHF channels to kill dead airtime in the post-cartoon, pre-syndicated shows block on Saturdays. This feature is all about the Boring Saturday Afternoon of the soul. I wax rhapsodic…

PLAY BY PLAY

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SATURDAY AFTERNOON B-MOVIE CRAPFEST: “Journey to the Seventh Planet” (1962)

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I know it's not Saturday, but you really need to stop harping on the literal interpretation of the titles of old things I'm throwing up here more or less at random. Seriously. People are beginning to talk.

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SATURDAY B-MOVIE CRAP FEST: “The Phantom Planet” (1961)

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This is actually the first movie we’ve reviewed in the Crap Fest series that I’ve actually seen or heard of before. Granted, I have some vague, fleeting memories of “Cosmos: War of the Planets” - mostly the robot at the end - that may indicate I really saw it before, or it may simply be the result of that LSD someone put in my drink back in the 80s. Or both. Either way, I certainly never saw the whole film before reviewing it here, and I hope to never see it again.

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SATURDAY AFTERNOON B-MOVIE CRAPFEST: “The Phantom From 10,000 Leagues” (1955)

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Yeah, yeah, I know, I know: It's Sunday. But this is a reprint that originally ran on a Saturday, and really the entire concept isn't *about* Saturday per se, but a certain type of movie that tended to run on Saturdays. Yeah. It's all about the Saturday of the soul...David Soul, probably...or something like that.

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