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Duke: “You wanted to see me, General?”

General Hawk: “Actually, I sent for your replacement, Lt. Falcon, and he‘s already here…wait, aren’t you dead?“

Duke: “No, it was only a coma.”

Hawk: “Are you sure? I saw a snake eat your freakin’ heart!”

Duke: “Nope, I was saved by a voiceover and parental outrage at the death of Optimus Prime.”

Hawk: “Wow! Lucky Duck!”

Duke: “Don’t I know it! The writers had my idiot half-brother here taking over the team.

Falcon: “Hey! I’m right here, you know!”

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: The Tick: “The Funeral” (Episode 7, or possibly 4)

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A superhero called “The Immortal” is coming through The City on a book-signing tour. He’s evidently this version of the Tickiverse’s version of Superman. (In the Comics and the Cartoon, the Seldom-seen Superman Parody is called “The Cape,” and his real name is “Clark Oppenheimer,” and he’s much more straightforward than the TV iteration). Everyone is in awe of The Immortal, including Arthur who, as a much younger guy, camped outside a hotel to get his autograph.

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MOVIE REVIEW: “Macross II: The Movie” (1993)

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Despite our rather infrequent coverage of it, Macross really is one of my favorite things in the world. The Big Three franchises for Science Fiction are (In descending order of greatness): Doctor Who, Stargate, and Star Trek. Yeah, I know Trek is more ubiquitous, but it had a long slow fade out, whereas ’Gate just got better and better, and passed Trek in terms of quality somewhere in during SGA. If we eliminate the “Live action” requirement from the big four series, however, then Macross would handily beat Trek for the number three spot.

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Babylon 5: “The Long, Twilight Struggle” (Season 2, Episode 20)

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The Narn/Centauri war, which started back in episode 9 of this season (“The Coming of Shadows”) ends tonight. We’re told it’s about six months later. G’kar mentioned in “Acts of Sacrifice” (Season 2, episode 12) that his people defeated the Centauri before with a century-long Vietnam style war, until finally they broke their oppressor’s will, and were set free (Presumably this was Emperor Turhan’s doing). Since that time, the Narn became like abused children who grow up to abuse everyone around them.

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So it's 2012 - Wasn't that Big Magnetic Space Ribbon Supposed to have Killed us by Now?

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So it's 2012, and the earth is still here, despite all paranoid schizophrenic claims to the contrary. As we all know, the Mayan Long Count calendar ended this year. People with the unfortunate combination of an anxiety disorder, scientific illiteracy, and waaaaay too much time on their hands have concluded that a stone age band of savaged who thought human sacrifice was keen, and who hadn't discovered the wheelsomehow could foretell the future. Well, ok, sure, whatever. You can't have an average IQ without at least half the population having a below-average IQ. I learn to ignore it.

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